« Getting rid of myths: there are no "righteous angers," and not all resentments are legitimate Attention to anger myths: no anger is good. In any case, if one aspires to the inner balance, it can only be tolerated as a wake-up call in the face of a possible problem. Then you have to put it on a leash before you act. Aristotle said, "She must serve us not as a leader, but as a soldier." The action is good; Anger-inspired action can be; but very rarely the action under his control. It's not just being weak that you're calm and refusing anger. The great leaders of non-violence, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama, were not - or are - weak. Let us be careful not to overvalue the "righteous angers", anger is above all a great destroyer of social connection. Too often we celebrate the benefits of anger over its enormous damage. This celebration means that the strong and powerful too often allow themselves to get angry, do not slow down its hatching enough, do not make enough effort to dialogue otherwise. And the weak are angry at not being able to do like the strong... Anger gives an energy, certainly, but toxic, polluting, expensive. It overflows and skids almost always. It inflicts wounds that cause new resentments, seeds of anger and future conflicts. »

« Forgiveness is a fundamental issue for any society composed of social animals, such as us humans: as suffering, offenses and violence are pervasive, whether voluntary or not, the processes of forgiveness are essential to the survival of the species, which will otherwise be permanently torn apart. This is why monkeys are first known as post-conflict reconciliation rituals. The ability to pardon, so important to avoid endless and costly reprisals, is probably more than thirty million years old. It is a shared heritage of the order of primates, common to great apes and humans. »

« Never trivialize anger and resentment. After a conflict or a rise of anger, even deaf and mute, even unspoken, do not immediately move on: it would be the best way to let hostile moods live and last, and to encourage their return. If there was anger, then it was that there was something important or serious, objectively or subjectively. Or that I'm not well right now. All of this is worth a little thought. So I land, calm my body, and I think. I wonder what happened to get me into this state. And if I could have done it differently. Just ask me the question and really make the effort to answer it. I wonder how I can get closer to what is important to me (to be listened to, to be respected ...) without having to host all this resentment ... »