« Excerpts from the book: "The Child, the Judge and the Psychoanalyst"; interview between F. Dolto and A. Ruffo; Gallimard; 1999. page 11 (preface): the judge: "On that day, Françoise Dolto spoke to us with the assurance given to her by her long clinical experience as a psychoanalyst, her respect for children" page 33: the judge: "... what I mean is that it often happens with children of twelve, thirteen years, that we are told: "This child has behavioural problems", because he has experienced incest, because he was rejected, because he was despised. But I refuse to grant him protection for his troubles." F. Dolto: "But you are quite right because the important thing is: since he survived, what was enough to get his foot in it? If a person is truly traumatized, he falls ill; if a being has no place to live, he does not continue." page34: F. Dolto: "If the children knew that the law forbids sensual privileges between adults and children, well, from the moment an adult asks him, if he accepts, it is because he is complicit, he does not have to complain. but he may have, without complaining, to say: "but it hurt me very much.-Yes. Why did you let yourself be done because you knew it wasn't allowed..." From the moment the child is aware, very young of the law, he is complicit and we can help him much better." judge: "I understand very well. At that point, he is not given a victim role." page 53: The judge: "Yes. Children feel so guilty! It is giving them permission to grow up to tell them that they are not responsible for their parents." F. Dolto: "They are responsible for letting the parents commit an act that demeans them in their relationship with their children." page 81: The judge: "But when the father denies and the mother is complicit, the mother refuses or is unable to protect her child, and he must be removed from the family environment, what happens to this relationship with the father?" F. Dolto: "It depends on each child, and I think it will depend on the maturing relationship he will meet with the family in which he will be placed, or with the educator with whom he can speak and who can make him understand that the excitement in which his father was, perhaps without having sought it, the child was complicit. Because I believe that these children are more or less complicit in what is happening... We'll have to tell them very early... that they have a duty to evade this so that their parents remain parents to them..." page 83: F. Dolto: "Children fabulate a lot, yes, it's true. you mean: are they fabulating about the assaults they are subjected to?" the judge: "Yes, for example, a child says, "Dad did this or that with me." F. Dolto: "Yes, precisely, and children would not be able to do so if they had been informed before." And then why did you let it happen when you knew you shouldn't, why did you let him do it? Your role as a child was to prevent it." page 87: F. Dolto: "... children must be warned, warned, warned of their role, of their co-responsibility, of their complicity: "Well, you knew, so why did you do it? Well, now you'll tell your father or grandfather that it's forbidden, that you've told me about it and that it's over now between you." judge: "And is it useful for children that there should be a social judgment, that the child be declared a victim?" "No, it's very difficult because it marks him for life. If it happens behind closed doors, between the child and the parents, it is much better. It's a shame what happened. Now it has to be over and it's not a whole story. These are things that happen in the office of the psychiatrist or doctor who keeps him in secret in secret. He works with parents for this slippage in their imaginary life. It's always on medication or under alcohol that things happened." page 88: The judge: And what do you do as a children's judge?" F.Dolto: "We warn the child: "It won't happen again, without it you will be complicit." judge: "What do we do with it?" F. Dolto: "Well, the father will say the same thing: "You have to know that when you're intoxicated, you don't know what you're doing. Your child will have to keep you within the limits, and ma'am, too. Protect your child. It is the future, it is your offspring that is at stake." judge: "But we're going to rest the question. You know, sometimes in front of us, we have people telling us: "This time it's my daughter, but I was like that, you know the judge. And my mother, she was also abused." And we go back like this, from generation to generation." »

« Any child who has a disability, you have to tell him right away as soon as we see him. A child can be raised differently by telling him his infirmity as soon as we know him, and from there he is no longer in a feeling of continual helplessness. He knows what he is crippled about, through which he can compensate by the other senses and other means of communication that he has in a much more acute way than those who do not have this infirmity. »

« Children feel it very well, and if they are not forced to wash, children are always clean, if only they are given an example, when they are small. There are children who are a little afraid of cold water but, as soon as they see the amenity of the cleanliness of the great people around them, they want to do the same, because it is normal for the child: anything that will promote him in his own eyes and make him as pleasant as these people are pleasant to him, he comes alone. »