« - (...) And what does she do with her life, other than waiting for her husband to come home at night? "Like you," observed Mr. Feyrières. - Yes, well, now that the kids are grown up, I'm going to look for work. She had just decided that. But you'd think she'd been thinking about it for several months. "You?" But you can't do anything, her husband remarked. It wasn't even said badly. »

« Another path is made over these two years, that of my faith. The pilgrimage to Lourdes had made me reconnect with the mysticism of my childhood and my diary keeps track of it in the form of repeated prayers. "My God, give me Your will because I no longer have the strength to act. I don't understand what I'm going through, what I am. And further on: "I keep talking to You, I write Your name on the leaves of my notebooks, I say Your name in all languages." It is a joy to call you, You, You who do not answer." In fact, God never answered me, which was better for my sanity, but I left my faith there. "Believe. It's a word that doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I am sometimes afraid that this nothingness that replaced my confidence of yesteryear, the engagement with the One who revives me from time to time, nostalgia for a Sunday, solitude of the noon, then that I forget because He is no longer of my life, He who was me a friend, a confidant, an accomplice almost. I can no longer believe in Him because it is not possible for Him to exist." The last lines of my diary suggest that I agreed with Jules Renard when he notes in his: "I don't know if God exists, but it would be better, for his honor, that he did not exist." Why did he invent this horrible evil that eats away at children, old people, destroys families? This evil that I can hardly name, which revulses me as if it had already touched me because I know that he is waiting for me. I have to write it down. Cancer, that's it. Strangely, I feel destined for it. »

« "It's a stylish thing to answer in English on the phone," Samuel remarked. Maybe I should try this to impress them. - Impress who? - But the girls, damn it! Girls, girls, girls! - This seems to hold a great place in your life. - Because there's something else? Savior could have answered that before impressing the girls, it would be wise not to do everything to disgust them. (p. 100) »